Friday, December 2, 2011

Learning to Dance Again (Pt. 3)

Who Me? Break Rules?
I'm a rule breaker. You know... the one who planned the tricycle caper down the only thing that passed for Main St. on the island of my childhood. Let me offer some helpful words of advice: don't trust your childhood memories.

My older, wiser brother read that article about my “harmless” little escapade and revealed a piece of the story I've been missing all these years. Remember that quaint, lazy lane that meandered between my house and the waterfront? Well, think of the road that encircled the island as the track around the Daytona 500. Whadda they do on straightaways?

I'm not a NASCAR fan, but even I know the answer to that Q. Seems those old fisherman and their sons used that stretch of blacktop to pretend they were NASCAR drivers. The avenue of my jaunt to freedom doubled as an impromptu raceway of sorts. Success was hitting 100MPH between the curve before one end of our yard and the curve at the far end of the street beyond our yard.

I have to tell you, when he described the action, I saw my 4YO life flash before my eyes 49 years after the fact. I can feel my Mamma saying, “I told you so,” even now. Playing in traffic is never a good idea...even on isolated island roads...maybe especially on isolated island roads.

Triker Babe with the Rebel Heart
I'd like to tell you I've changed my errant ways about that rule breaking thing. Well, I break all the blogging rules. I'm dangerous like that. Now, as in the days of my tricycle adventure, God is watching out for me despite my ignorance and/or folly.

At a recent conference, one of the speakers grinned and shook her had in a mixture of dismay and wonder while saying, “Carol Anne breaks ALL the rules. Her blog is an example of the fact that God decides who, when, and how he'll bless our efforts. Despite her rule-breaking, her blog has flourished.” I know she wanted to add, “in SPITE of her,” but she was gracious!

If I did what I was supposed to do, I'd limit my posts to 400 words and include sections and bullet points. I'd give you helpful information in small bytes – easily digestible - and send you skipping on your merry way. I'd be a magician with words as my wand. 

Island Girl With Salt Water in Her Veins
Alas, I'm like you. I'm navigating my days the best way I can in this fraidy cat world. I don't HAVE a neat and tidy little action plan. Life often proceeds in this manner: 4 steps forward and 3.75 in reverse. In the process of percolating on this series of blog entries, I realized something.

You can be engaged in a life filled with FRANTIC motion and STILL be living a life in limbo. That's what we reactors are prone to do. It came as quite a shock to me that as busy as I've been the last decade and a half, I really have been living in limbo. In the quiet of my heart and soul, I gave up even tho' my body kept pushing forward in life.

I began to escape limbo when I opened a hand me down laptop and wrote the 1st blog post. The 'me' I put on hold to survive the sick kid years, the homeless years, the struggling marriage years, and the re-entry into life after the post-Chapter 13 years began to wake up as I began to write.

BOY is it SCARY! Every single time I hit 'publish' I feel like I've jumped from a cliff without a bungee cord! My blood pressure rises and falls with my blog count. Not that I'm trying to make you feel responsible for my cardiac health or anything. OK..not totally. Sort of.

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative
If hindsight is 20-20, I have learned that the 1st step out of limbo is realizing that's where you've been living. I wonder how many folks are in the limbo line with me? So busy. So preoccupied. Focused on doing important things. Feeling so empty inside and knowing something is missing.

We just can't put our finger on why. We are in a dance with the devil doing the limbo thru life. Here's his dirty little secret. If he can KEEP us there and keep us blinded to the fact that he's our dance partner.....there's nothing he can't help us right into NOT doing. (Oops..I broke another rule about double negatives, but you get my point?) See my logic? What a win-win for him! In the spirit of that thought, TA-DAH!!!!!

**Stop the noise. Pull up a rocking chair. Be still. Realize that frenzy does not equal fulfillment even if you are frantic in your efforts to do good things for all the right reasons.
You can take the trike away from the girl., but....

**Tell Mr. Smarty Pants (aka Satan) that you've looked at your dance card and realize you have no room left for another spin around life with him. Limbo just ain't your style no we'd say here in the south.

**Stop chasing shadows whether it is a homeschool family 3 doors down or some other synthetic icon of perfection that makes you feel like running to catch up. It may just be the path you're running will be about as safe as my childhood race track!

Point #4 – Relax. This little corner of cyber space is for fraidy cats just like you. Welcome home. Stick around. I created my 1st bullet list. For my next trick I MIGHT just write a post of fewer than 1,000 words. Bwahahahahaaaa! Yea. Right. 
Courtesy B. Creasy

Psalm 37:23 (NAS)
The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

Psalm 40:2 (NAS)
He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.


  1. You, you mean my SHORT posts are keeping the rules?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  2. Shine on, good friend. Shine on!

    Merry Christmas!

  3. :-) only till my SAD kicks in...then I'll be all glumpy and dull. ;-) Merry Christmas to you too!