 |
| Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative |
A
mountain climb is to a crevasse as parenting a teen is to
___________. What's your reply?
If you've visited me often, you know we've had a wild ride with Son #2. With his long hair, now a lovely shade of Kool Aid red (yes, I confess, I did it), any passerby might do a double take looking for his wild side. Might just take a look up and down for a hint of tatted sleeve or shirt. Truth is, I'm holding off on that eventuality as long as I can and hoping he will opt not to when the time comes. Hope springs eternal. Check back with me in three years or so.
If you've visited me often, you know we've had a wild ride with Son #2. With his long hair, now a lovely shade of Kool Aid red (yes, I confess, I did it), any passerby might do a double take looking for his wild side. Might just take a look up and down for a hint of tatted sleeve or shirt. Truth is, I'm holding off on that eventuality as long as I can and hoping he will opt not to when the time comes. Hope springs eternal. Check back with me in three years or so.
Looks
can be deceiving. He's a work in progress, and we struggle with daily
challenges as he matures into the man God is crafting. It's scary. I feel as tho' I am on the edge of a precipice looking down into
a crevasse of potential failure. How are we going to get him from the
teen he is now to the young man God designed him to be? I lay awake
at night over that one. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I just
hyperventilate.
On the worst of days, I wonder about what you think. Yes, you. The parent with the squared away kid who learns easily, was born with athletic grace, and who never raised a defiant eyebrow in his life much less argued with you about the conventions of language and what makes cursing cursing. I'm your worst nightmare. The parent of 'that teen'.
On the worst of days, I wonder about what you think. Yes, you. The parent with the squared away kid who learns easily, was born with athletic grace, and who never raised a defiant eyebrow in his life much less argued with you about the conventions of language and what makes cursing cursing. I'm your worst nightmare. The parent of 'that teen'.
 |
| Courtesy A. Squires |
On
those days, I want you to see us behind closed doors. I want you to
see beyond the long hair and the heart full of questions. I want you
to meet the kid you wouldn't stop and take time to know if you saw
him passing on the street because you'd shy away thinking he might
somehow lead your kid astray.
I would show you the kid who asks to read 'just one more chapter' in the book Jesus Freaks before we begin our school day. He's the kid who engages strangers far more schooled than he about issues of faith and doubt asking question to prepare him to argue his faith with atheists. Come with me to the local venue for teen bands and watch as he discusses issues of purity and abstinence with a Christian heavy metal band.
I would show you the kid who asks to read 'just one more chapter' in the book Jesus Freaks before we begin our school day. He's the kid who engages strangers far more schooled than he about issues of faith and doubt asking question to prepare him to argue his faith with atheists. Come with me to the local venue for teen bands and watch as he discusses issues of purity and abstinence with a Christian heavy metal band.
 |
| 2012 - Fencing |
And
oh, if only, you could have been with me tonight as I sat and sampled
a big ole slice of humble pie. It's been a couple months since we
visited our local Mexican restaurant. It was there a few months ago
he spied a kindred spirit with long hair, tatted knuckles, a gaunt
frame, and chains. I acted just like you would expect. I shuddered
and wanted to run and hustle him off someplace safe because I knew
what was coming.
He walked over, introduced himself, and made a friend. This unsocialized, homeschooled Aspie who isn't supposed to make eye contact, engaged a total stranger adrift on the fringes of society. After a few weeks of by chance meetings at the same place and time, Son #2 began to look for the rocker dude. A friendship was sealed.
He walked over, introduced himself, and made a friend. This unsocialized, homeschooled Aspie who isn't supposed to make eye contact, engaged a total stranger adrift on the fringes of society. After a few weeks of by chance meetings at the same place and time, Son #2 began to look for the rocker dude. A friendship was sealed.
Even
tho' we hadn't seen him in a couple months, he was never far from our
minds. He told Son #2 that he was an atheist but that he was
searching for answers. That was all he had to say. Son #2 asked to buy a copy of the Metal Bible containing
stories of heavy metal greats past and present and how they came to be
Christ-followers.
Today the question came, “Can we go out to supper tonight and look for my friend? I want to give him the Bible.” And so, we did. My heart was in my throat hoping Rocker Dude would be there and hoping just as much that he wouldn't. See...I know that feeling too.
Today the question came, “Can we go out to supper tonight and look for my friend? I want to give him the Bible.” And so, we did. My heart was in my throat hoping Rocker Dude would be there and hoping just as much that he wouldn't. See...I know that feeling too.
 |
| Winter Jam 2011 |
Before
we were seated, in walked Rocker Dude and his Dudette. Eyes
brightened, shoulders lifted, conversation flowed. I missed the
moment, but the Metal Bible changed hands. The Bible we have prayed
over now given to the couple we have prayed for. Because my
unconventional child, who questions everything in the process of
finding his own way in faith, was not afraid to reach out in kindness
to a kindred spirit.
Tonight,
my heart is still in my throat. Will we ever see them again? Will
they toss that book aside and laugh behind his back? Will either of
them, in a desperate and lonely moment, wonder about the boy who
brings salt and light with him when he comes? Will they see enough of
themselves in him to make them want to see what makes him different
from them? Will they pick up that book and find the answers to all
the searching and not finding they have done till now? Even so, Lord Jesus, let it be?
 |
| 2012 |
I
have eaten humble pie served up by my courageous, questioning teen.
And, it was good. No matter where we are in life, there will always be a crevasse yawning ahead. He sees you. He sees your teen. He sees your life. It's ok to rest in him. He's got your back...and the crevasse that looms so large tonight.
 |
| Courtesy B. Creasy 2010 |
I love this post, and not just because I have an unconventional firstborn who loves Jesus fiercely and articulates the gospel, despite the long hair and chain he keeps his keys on, hanging from his pants. Who cares?
ReplyDeleteWhen God looks at these young men, He sees Jesus.
And I am so, so thankful that I have the privilege of watching this story, months in the making now, unfold. Sometimes I laugh. He asks why. I say, "If you had told me 10 yrs ago that I'd have a 15YO w/ hair longer than mine....I'd have asked what you were smoking." It's a roller coaster ride, but God is good and faithful to meet my son, and yours, where they are and to use them as they are!
DeleteMy older son is a MUCH BETTER arguer than I am. When he reached 14 I told him: "I'm the dd. I can't afford to lose a fight with you. Therefore, from now on, I win. period." Surprisingly, he accepted that and we never argued again. ...Besides, Humble Pie tastes too much like crow.
ReplyDeleteThis one is like grabbing a tiger by the tail, but we are so humbled at the work God is doing in his life. He is maturing, and for that we are thankful. Crow, by the way, tastes just like chicken when you get used to it. ;-)
DeleteTears. So special. Bless you, my Pistachio.
ReplyDeleteAwww...go on wid yo'self now.
DeleteIsn't God's plan wonderful and unexpected? He never lets us settle into a comfort zone, but constantly nudges us forward, onward, upward. I have a 5 year old daughter already asking for a tattoo and Kool-Aid hair. I know she will grow to be a Radical Christian and I am so excited to see what God has in store for her. I just read the book Unleashed and I definitely want to be prepare her for that wild ride of loving Jesus with everything we are.
ReplyDeleteUnexpected is for sure! When Son #2 was 5, he bought every tattoo booklet Cracker Barrel sold. By the time he was 8, he had 'invested' in a set of tattoo markers. Yep. That was a lot of fun going out in public in those days, that was! Blessing to you and your little one.
DeleteWhat a wonderful post! I pray the Rocker Dude is burning the midnight oil tonight with his Metal Bible. (Hugs)
ReplyDeleteThank you, my sweet friend. Keep praying. I'll keep updating. Love you more.
DeletePerfect post, Carol Anne. Just perfect for our imperfect world. I've eaten a lot of humble pie because of my kids (also unconventional) and you're right. It's good.
ReplyDeleteOh, the good days are amazing. The others...amazing for all the wrong reasons! This one is one we are having to watch and pray over. But, as he finds his faith groove, we know it is real and not just a cookie cutter of ours!
DeleteGod looks at our hearts and we look at the outward person. I pray the Lord blesses you and your son 100-fold for your care and HIS providence in this divine meeting.
ReplyDeleteThis so reminds me of stories of my mother. She and my father had an Italian restaurant and people of all sorts were drawn to her. She'd talk to the hippies in the day, the outcasts and anyone who came to eat a plateful of pasta and a big dose of Jesus. They loved her! She didn't judge she just demonstrated her love. She wore a cross, her outward sign, and it generated all types of discussion and questions.
I was a teen at the time, and I'd ask her how she could be so open with "those" people. She'd say Jesus loved them, too. I learned so much from her! The biggest lesson was to leave judging to the Lord and leave reaping to Him as well.
As long as your son is planting the seeds the Lord can reap the harvest and at the end hair length won't matter. Thanks for posting another thought provoking post! I'll pray for your continued success in ministering to those forgotten, labeled and dismissed by the world, but not forgotten by the Lord. God will use us, we just have to say, "Yes!" to Him.
Oh, Felice, I just have chills reading your story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for dropping by and sharing it. I thank you even more for your prayers. We could use some blessing around here! I told my husband that my fondest dream is to entertain this couple for the Christmas holidays...and do it to celebrate their decision to walk with Christ! Stay tuned.
Delete