He’s Bright but Confusing – Sound familiar?

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

The library is abuzz. My childhood librarian is probably spinning in her grave. Back in her heyday, if you breathed heavy, her dagger filled look pinned you up next to the moose head above the library door as a warning for other heavy breathers.

Upon spying the pinned specimens, whisperers were known to blanch and run back out the way they came. O.k. Not really, but you know what I mean. My, how times have changed.

Just behind me sits a young man and his tutor. The timbre of his voice signals he’s only recently beyond the great divide and into the land of razors and girlfriends. I don’t have to look at him to know what’s happening.

His tutor’s first words said it all. “I’m so disappointed in you,” was quickly followed by a muttered sermon about wasting their time. I can tell he’s slouching under her disdain.

The topic at hand is math as it relates to circles. It’s just how every young man bursting with pubescent energy wants to spend his Friday afternoon and early evening.

I sigh deeply and fight my inner homeschooler. I want to turn around and interfere. I want to rescue him. Thankfully, they find a bit of common ground before I have to pack up and leave to keep from embarrassing myself.

I look out the window. The clouds contain, per the weatherman, a forty percent chance of snow. Their voices lull me to once upon a time, long ago and far away.

A little boy, all decked out like a train engineer, was toddling around the waiting room. I was thankful they had a lull because it meant he could wander around without invoking the doctor’s-waiting-room-wrath-of-Kahn.

He was a wanderer, that one. If you tried to pen him up, energy built up as if he was a living breathing static charge that had to seek release. He made up for it with white blonde hair, blue eyes, and rosy lips that melted onlookers when they parted to smile.

He toddled over to the other waiting room captive and worked his magic. Not quite two, his language skills were emerging at a logic defying pace. He grinned and began to talk.

I smiled smugly to myself about all the days I read to him in utero. Within hours of his birth, I was already reading chunky board books to him. (Insert Barney Fife of Mayberry satisfied snort.) Yep, yep, yep. Parent of the year. That was me.

The lady looked over at me and smiled that smile I secretly lusted for. It was a nonverbal signal meant to convey that, as a parent, I simply rocked.

“He’s so smart! He’s gonna be his teachers’ favorite.”

My heart froze. “Really? Do you think? Thank you. I’m not so sure. I think . . . “ my words trailed off as the nurse called her name freeing her from our mutual waiting box.

Not long after, I confessed my fears to my husband, “He’s really smart and engaging. But, there’s something I can’t put my finger on. I think . . . I think he is not going to be able to put down on paper what the teacher wants the way she wants it. I think he is going to be the bane of her existence. I’m afraid.”

My little train engineer was not quite three when his Sunday School teacher met me at the door of his class. She had inherited the ‘problem child’ from the nursery.

He was the one whose cries for his mom only quieted when they could distract him with car lights. Specifically, brake lights. Meaning he was never distracted during daylight.

“He’s amazing!” Her exclamation melted the icy fear that flash froze my heart every time I reached the nursery door. We’ve already cleaned up, but you should have seen the creation he made with Tinker Toys. If you don’t have them, you need to get him some.

We chatted for another moment or two. She said enough to tell me that she saw my conundrum. My son was amazing, articulate, and intelligent. And yet, there was something . . . something confusing . . . going on.

He was above ninety percent in his height and weight percentiles, potty trained at eighteen months, and spoke like a five or
six-year-old. I told myself the confusion hinged on folks forgetting he was only three when he acted like a three-year-old.

Courtesy B. Creasy - 2010

It would be three more years of watching, waiting, and searching before that ‘something confusing’ had a name. 

For the link to part 1:
click here

Psalm 139: 16 The Message

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you,The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

A Homeschooling Not So Fairy Tale

Son #1 - Handwriting Without Tears - 2nd grade

The plea on the page was like a time portal carrying me to days I navigated the same heartbreaking struggles:

My son and I have had a truly frustrating day. It took him a whole hour to write, "The king of Egypt was called the Pharaoh." Any suggestions for keeping a badly ADHD 6-year-old a little more focused than that?

I thought back to oral spelling tests when my six-year-old wrapped himself in a blanket and danced on first one foot and then the other to the tune of 'c-a-t'.

How strange we would have looked in my former classroom of twelve boys aged five to nine. Even in that setting, a psychiatric inpatient program for boys too disturbed to participate in a public school class, we expected our students to sit still in a desk.

In truth, they sat but were rarely still. They drooped. They draped. Knees and elbows bounced with the ferocity of human jack hammers. Pencils slipped out of wiggly hands, and rescue maneuvers required contortionist-like feats. Still, they sat.

Son #2 - Junior Olympian 2013

I had no idea how much my life as a teacher was preparing me for my future as a homeschool mom.  Ironically, I also had no idea how my past classroom experience would hamper my adjustment to homeschooling.

I still have one perpetual motion machine left to graduate. In two short years, my nest will be empty. How can it be? Only yesterday, my young friend’s heartfelt cry was mine. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was reduced to tears by a child who just would not sit still and do his work?

I am standing on your horizon looking back at you. I see all the days between the two of us. Perhaps today you feel weary, provoked, frazzled, puzzled and desperate. In fact, you may be wondering if it is time to throw up your hands and call it quits.

I shake my head in wonder because I remember those days. If I told you the truth, I’d tell you I’m not sure I know how we got through all the days I felt the same way you feel now. I can tell you we did, and I can say we are all better for the journey.

I am not an ironfisted homeschooler who will label you a failure or heretic if the day comes when life dictates you make another schooling choice.

Son #1 September K5 Self Portrait 

Among my friends are folks who have a child in public school, one in private school, and another in homeschool all in the same school year.  Some friends transition between private, homeschooling, and back again because of expense.

Over the years, I held my freedom to homeschool loosely. In fact, there have been times I have mounted desperate campaigns to join the traditional schoolers in brick and mortar schools.

I laugh at those efforts now. God made it plain his plan was for me to keep my nose to the homeschool grindstone even though I was buckling under the strain.

How did I know? My husband was laid off every single time we got the private school applications submitted. After a while, even I can take a hint.

We tried public school. I volunteered in our son’s class every day teaching advanced students how to read while the teacher worked with the others on letter recognition.

Son #1 May Self Portrait K5

One day, that courageous woman pulled me aside. “Get him out of here. He will never survive. My son is only in this school because I teach here.” 

I had never really been a snob about homeschooling. I just didn’t know many who had made the choice way back in 1997. 

I did spend eight years chanting, “I will not homeschool.” Every day from the day my pregnancy test came back positive till the day before I brought our son home to school, I sang that song.

God must have laughed at my song. He knew he’d spent a lifetime preparing me to do what I was about to do.

Eleven years later - just after returning from China

We brought our son home to school in the middle of his first grade year. The Valentine’s Day party was on Friday. We took him out on Tuesday. It broke my heart in two. 

I still think of that day every year around Valentine’s Day. Does that surprise you? As I begin to figure out the framework of my post homeschooling life, my friends tell me it is time for me to tell you our story.

I suppose I have hesitated because I feel so mediocre and ordinary. I’m just me, and we’ve just plodded along over the years doing the next thing. There’s nothing heroic or inspiring about that, do you think?

But, yesterday when my friend’s question transported me back across time, it was as if God said, “Now’s the time to tell these mothers all the things you wished someone had been there to tell you. Now’s the time.”

Courtesy B. Creasy -2010

So, I hope you’ll follow along over the next few months as I begin to tell you a once upon a time story that didn’t lead straight to happily ever after. Along the way, I hope we will both be empowered by my journey.

For the link to part 2:
click here

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

In the Company of My Peeps

 Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

I had no idea how much my life was going to change last April. I stumbled into the Titus 2:1 Conference not knowing what to expect and wondering what I’d gotten myself into.

Little did I know I had become part of a vibrant community of friends whose influence would impact me every single day for the rest of my life. It’s hard to believe we will gather again in less than 6 weeks.

This week, the 2013 attendees are linking up in an effort to foster new and rekindle existing relationships. I hope you’ll take a few minutes and get to know my friends because they are sure to inspire you as well! (Click here to meet my posse.)

One of our fearless leaders suggested a few questions to get the conversations started. So, here’s a peek into my world. I wonder if I’ll surprise you?

I've been homeschooling since Methuselah was born. Well, there are days it seems that way. In reality, this is my 15^th year of homeschooling. I have two more to go and am already wondering what I’ll do and who I’ll be without my community of homeschooling friends.

New Mexico - 2011

Given my above transparency, it may not surprise you that my homeschooling super power (if I suddenly sprouted a cape and phone booth) would have to be determination/perseverance. I never believed I’d homeschool my sons all twelve years, but here we are. I can’t believe the end is in sight!

If I could have a dream ‘mom-cation’ and money/time were no object, I would have to divide my time between:  Kiawah Island, SC and Santa Fe, NM. I told God I'd appreciate it if he could make my piece of Heaven exactly like those two places!

Here are a few more quick facts:

Courtesy B. Creasy - Kiawah Is 2010

In my previous life (aka before homeschooling), I taught K5-3^rd grade, worked in a psych hospital (as a teacher/therapist), completed management training with a national chain of bookstores, and adjudicated disability claims for the Social Security Administration.

I really wanted to be a doctor or Occupational Therapist when I grew up. We’ve moved so many times that realtors say I need to be a realtor.

I have sewn 2 wedding dressings and made 3 cathedral length veils back in the day. Just typing that fact nearly gives me heart failure.

Future Doctor/Seamstress ??

I do my best thinking in the shower. Unfortunately, as soon as I pull back the shower curtain and reach for the towel, I can’t remember a single one of my braniac-storms.

I am looking forward to this year’s conference with less fraidy cat anxiety and more unbridled excitement because I know what to expect now. And, I expect lots of laughter - as in laugh until you snort laughter. I can’t wait to see my IRL friends again and make new ones. 

Amid all the laughter and hugs, I know I will learn a lot. And this year . . . I’ll actually understand what I’m learning because this group didn’t stop teaching me when the conference was over last year. They have patiently kept answering questions and breaking down technical information for me all year long. 

In the last year, I have often said:

  

     Titus 2:1 is a gift that keeps on giving!

2010

If you are a homeschooler who blogs about anything at all and have been thinking about going but just can’t quite make up your mind, let me knock you off the fence. You don’t just find friends at the conference, you find your people. They get you. You don’t have to explain a thing! See you there?

Wanna know what I was thinking just after the conference last year? Click here!

Links to this post http://2to1conference.com/

20/20 Vision From the Rear View Mirror (pt. 2)

Courtesy A. Hughes

When I began this homeschooling journey almost 16 years ago, the choice was a stop-gap solution. Every year after, I looked for a sign indicating we could return to normal. Normal being a traditional school setting. When Son #1 was a 2^nd grader, it was a foregone conclusion that all would be 'normal' again by the time he reached middle school.

A funny thing happened on the way. By funny, I mean God was up there slapping his knee and doubled over as he laughed at my wisdom. He was laughing as my definition of 'normal' changed.

Life is but a Vapor

On the cusp of middle school, I realized what we were doing was not broken. Our approach did not need repair! I still hyperventilated over what his adulthood would look like and how it would unfold. I feared hearing him ask, “Why did you do this to me?” more than I feared hearing the naysayers harrumph and whisper, “See! I tried to tell her!”

Now that I am perched on the edge of a soon to be empty nest, I appreciate how much faith has been required to continue this journey. Altho' I have not chosen to homeschool because of religious convictions, my faith has been a pivotal and foundational marker of our journey.
                                           
I have callouses on my heart and knees from the time spent praying for wisdom and discernment. In some situations, answers came quickly. One year, I came home from the local homeschool resource store with a lighter pocketbook and heavy heart. Our academic testing results had not arrived before the time had come to purchase curriculum. It was during our season of homelessness, so every penny really counted.

 
As I perused the aisles and leafed through books, I cried out in prayer for guidance in choosing. The next week, test results arrived. I realized I had chosen the resources needed to foster my son's strengths and reinforce his weaknesses. It was a sweet day indeed knowing God had heard and answered my prayers.

Courtesy M. Horrocks

Other answers have been harder to see and longer in coming. Many times the prayer has been, “Lord, just don't let me screw this up! This is an entire future for two men in the making we are talking about! What if I get to the end of the journey and either of them fails to launch successfully? What if the naysayers who question socialization are right and one or both of them can't find their stride out in the 'real' world? Who's gonna be sorry then?”

Today, Son #1 is taking a non-traditional route to his Bachelors degree. He will receive an Associates degree next spring after three years of college. Along the way, he has traveled to China and Australia for work-related experiences that have strengthened his academic vision. He is now working as an intern web designer and taking part-time classes.

Sometimes, he frets about taking a different path than his high school peers. I remind him that his dad and two uncles, all traditionally schooled and professional engineers, took longer than four years to graduate. If he's asking, “Am I normal yet?” The answer is, “Yes. You've always been normal.”

A Metal Head and His Peeps

Son #2 is considering his options - including making the jump to a local charter school that will allow him to graduate from high school with his Associates degree. Despite his Asperger's diagnosis, he never meets a stranger and has a heart full of empathy. He is developing a ministry for disaffected youth that gravitate to the heavy metal music scene. Some days I'm so proud of him. Other days . . . I'm scared to death for him in an 'Oh my goodness! What is he getting into now' kinda way!

Am I still uneasy for the future? You betcha. I wonder every day if and how they will attain the American Dream. In that regard, I am no different from friends who are university faculty with four traditionally schooled graduates. As I poured out my angst to my longtime friend, she smiled. She told me her husband, a man with two Ph.D's and four very successful children, sat in my very chair and cried literal tears, “Am I enough? Have I done enough? Are they ready for the world out there? Have I given them what they need to make it?”

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

As I gaze out through the rear view mirror of life with the 20/20 vision it affords, I see the answer. It is so simple. No. We are never enough. We will never parent and/or school perfectly enough. All God asks is that we, as parents, do our best in consecrating our efforts to him. He did not give us the task of being 'enough'. Because if we were 'enough', our children would never need him.

Oh, fraidy cat, do you fear never being enough? Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Relax. We don't have to be enough because he is. Love you long and strong. See you soon?

Courtesy B. Creasy 2010

2 Corinthians 12:9 (Amplified Bible)But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me! 

 

My 20/20 Vision for Your Road Ahead (Pt 1)

Courtesy T. Parker

I remember the days from the trenches when the future yawned farther than I could see. I still have moments of wonder and uncertainty. As of today, five hundred forty-six days and counting till our last graduation. (But, who's counting?) There ought to be a hearty, “Yee-haw!” in there somewhere, but the rejoicing kinda sticks in my throat.

With the 20/20 precision of hindsight, I find myself perusing the past. I'm thinking about what worked and what didn't. Wondering about the newer bells and whistles homeschool publishers are producing and wishing there had been more time. Mostly, I am looking for God's handiwork as he wove it in and out of our days.

Lots of things have changed over the course of my homeschooling career. Our community has grown up. We toddled and stumbled as we worked to get our schooling-at-home legs under us. Back in the day, we clung to each other and moved as a group. Local Yahoo loops facilitated our connections. Mom's meetings were all the rage.

Courtesy T. Parker

As time moved on, we started to feel less interdependent and struck out on our own. We left behind pre-packaged curricula and abandoned Yahoo loops for co-ops, blogs, Facebook groups, and online classes. Look at us go! And grow. We can do it all by ourselves now. On the good days. When we are in the trenches, not so much.

With the beginning and end of each academic year, we reassess where we've been and where we're going. We wait for God to show us the end result when we aren't even sure of the next step. Faith calls us on despite our hindered vision.

In that regard, we are like every other mom out there whether a stay- at-home, homeschooler or a mom working full-time outside the home. Whatever our schooling choice, we all wonder the same things in different ways. What will the end look like, and how can I get there from here?

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

Before homeschooling was the cool new trend detailed in the Washington Post or Wall Street Journal, I felt conspicuous and odd. I told myself I was ahead of my time, but I felt like the gawky, awkward teen destined to be a misfit and always prone to public ridicule.

I kept waiting for God to give me a sign that we could march in step with all the ones lined up to go to 'regular' school. I wanted so much to be one of the bigger, more popular gang. In his wisdom, he never opened those doors. And now, as I look back on where we've been, I understand the journey and appreciate the gift.

I think tonight of what I wish someone had told me when I was in the trenches with no end in sight. I want you to know now what I wish I had known then.

1. 

   Courtesy A. Squi

   It is ok to be different. God created your children with a unique purpose in mind. Ephesians 2:10 is a great reminder when the sense of being on display nags at you. 
    
2. He will equip you to foster their gifts and equip them to fulfill his purpose. (Hebrews 13:21)

3. As you trust him, he will confirm your path and bring along helpers to bolster you in the journey. (Psalm 32:8)

4. It is ok to be transparent and ask for help when you are struggling. (Proverbs 15:22)

5. You do not have to have all the answers - not even for today much less for next year. (Hebrews 11:1)

Courtesy B. Creasy 2010

As I look back over the last fifteen years, I can see how each of these truths was real even when I was at the mercy of many internal fraidy cats. You know, the ones that keep you up at night wondering if you can get up and do this one. more. day.
 

Come back tomorrow, fellow fraidy cat. Whether you've homeschooled for a decade or are wrestling with the decisions over when and how to begin the journey, I'll have a story to tell just for you. Take a peek at our homeschooling journey. See where we've been and where we are poised to go because of it. I'm amazed, and I think you will be too! 

 

5 Things I Wish You Knew About Me (Because I Homeschool)

We homeschool because it has been the best choice for us, but....

2007-only half of the birthday crowd

I do not look down on you if you make a different choice. Among my friends are families with siblings attending homeschool, public school, and private school at the same time. I trust you as a parent to know what is best for your family and your student at any given time. Can you trust me to make the same decision for my family and my child?

I hold our homeschooling privilege with a loose grip because I realize life changes in an instant. So, I try to prepare my child for the fact that I may not always be his teacher. Whether life changes with choice, tragedy, or graduation, this season will end. He will move out of 'my' classroom and into the world. I want to do my job, so his future teachers will say I made their job easier. 

I wonder why you ask me about socialization (before you even get to know us).

No, I did not choose to school at home because I think your child will somehow sully my child. Did my children, because of their learning challenges, need a different kind of structure than a traditional school setting would provide? Yes, they did. I did not 'shelter' them by providing that. In fact, I often demanded more of them in the way of socialization than would have been demanded during a traditional school day.

2009

Both my boys would have qualified for some sort of 'resource' LD program if not a self-contained class room program in traditional schooling. Their only peers would have been students with the same challenges. We had the freedom to move around our community. My sons learned to interact with a variety of people in a variety of places in a socially appropriate ways. When Son #1 was in 6^th grade, he stunned a Walmart employee by handling an exchange and refund without any help from me. Son #2 now ends his PE at the local gym by playing pool with Octogenarians who break into a smile when they see him coming.

The next time you see a homeschooler and wonder how we define socialization, remember: your child's socialization does not end at 3:30p when the school bell rings! Our socialization is not dependent on the ringing of a school bell. Instead of asking, “What do you do about socialization?” just ask us what fun things we do. Then you'll hear about it without ever having to ask 'the question'. 

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

If you know a homeschool family that is floundering, do not assume that all of us flounder all the time.

We are just like you. We fail at some things, succeed at some things, and swim like mad to stay afloat most of the time. Are there folks who should not be homeschooling? Of course there are. Just like there are teachers who should not be in the classroom, public or private. Don't expect us to be super-human anymore than you expect your local school faculty to be super-human.

Applaud me when I succeed, empathize with me when I fail, offer me assistance when the struggle is long and hard. After all, we all want the same things for our kids no matter what schooling model we have chosen. I want to offer that same encouragement to you in the midst of your schooling years. Sadly, I often feel that you won't let me do so because you disapprove of, or are threatened by, my choice. Does it have to be that way?

I didn't take the easy way out just because we have the luxury of doing school in our PJ's on rainy, sick, or stay-at-home days.

There are days I look at you in your late model car and go-to-meeting business clothes and wish we could trade places. I wake up wishing I could open the door and shoo my kids out when the big yellow bus drives by. Yea. True confessions. Compared to my days, your days look pretty glamorous. Sometimes, I want a piece of that.

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative

It's a scary thing knowing there will be no one but me to blame if they reach adulthood and fail to launch or flounder when they do. We sacrifice a lot for this choice that requires all my attention and most of my time: vacations, the latest in technological gizmos, clothes from brand name stores. I wouldn't trade any of it for the chance to know my sons the way I do because I have been their teacher. But, I want you to know taking the less traveled road is not glamorous nor is it always rewarding.

I want you to encourage your children to get to know mine so that they can encourage each other.

Does it ever occur to you that our children might have something in common even though our schooling choices are so different? Did you know your children often tell mine that they are 'weird' or 'dumb' because they homeschool? Did you know my child is bullied because he is the only homeschooler on the cul-de-sac? When you ask me about socialization, I want to tell you about that dynamic. Instead, I bite my tongue and think of something conciliatory to say that won't hurt your feelings even though you and your children have hurt mine.

Courtesy M. Horrocks

Teach your children to value their neighbors no matter what their educational choice. Encourage them to be friendly to mine by being friendly with and accepting of me. I promise, I look for ways to extend that courtesy to you even though you haven't asked. Tell your student that it is ok to tell mine, “I wish I could do that too,” or “Do you ever get lonely or bored?” The truth is if asked, most kids would say that would like to homeschool at least for a while. And, our kids do get lonely and bored...just like yours.

I am your fraidy cat friend. I know that, like me, you are getting thru this fraidy cat world the best you can. The next time you see me, it's ok to say, “Hello.” Who knows? It might be the beginning of something wonderful. For both of us.

2010 - Courtesy B. Creasy

Love you long and strong. See you soon?

I Peter 4: 8-10 (NIV)

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Metamorphosis of a Fraidy Cat -- Pt.2

Courtesy H. Nett

If you ever wondered about the power of prayer, most any question you have would surely be answered if you met my friend, Hannah. I am who she used to be even tho' I am older than her mother. How can that be, you ask? Because I am the fraidy cat she was before her metamorphosis. My feet remain solidly tethered to this earth. Her's have been set free to roam...no dance...upon the earth. When I asked how she managed to escape the chains that bound her in fear, she paused a moment before definitively answering with one simple word, “Prayer.”

Despite her fear of both the large and small requirements of daily life, she allowed herself to envision a different kind of world than the one she knew growing up. It was a world without fear. Her foundation of faith in a Creator God enabled her to trust him with her fear. She decided to forge ahead despite her fears and asked God to give her a heart to go where no fraidy cat in her right mind would think of going: Hawaii. Ok, we might THINK of going there, but we certainly would not do it ALONE at the tender age of 19!

Courtesy H. Nett

Hannah's God was faithful. He did, in fact, give her a heart to further her study of photography and enabled her to pull together the funding to do so. Her fears dissolved. She set off to embrace a brave, new world in which fear would become a thing of her past.

Our conversation darted here and there at a pace suggestive of the flight of dragonflies and hummingbirds as I tried to get my mind around her journey. The transition to Hawaii went smoothly. Her days were filled with classes and new friends. It was easy enough to network with family and friends back home. The 3 months there allowed her time to adjust to life without the comforts and supports of home before she set off on the bigger journey.

Courtesy H. Nett

As the group prepared to fan out across the globe for an international practicum, she was offered 3 locations from which to choose: China, South Africa, and Cambodia. How does one decide?

My young friend decided to write the names of the 3 countries on 9 slips of paper, so that each country was represented 3 times. She put the slips in a bowl and drew a slip out: China. She decided to return the slip to the bowl and draw from all 9 again. Again, she drew China. She repeated the process 4 more times. Each time, she drew China.

She chuckled at the telling of it all these months after the doing of it. “I decided God was trying to tell me something. I had always wanted to go to Africa, but I signed on for the China trip. It was as if he said, 'Follow me to China, and you will one day go to Africa.' So, I did.”

Courtesy H. Nett

Wonder of wonders, this young lady, who had been so afraid of meeting new people and speaking before groups, found herself doing both while in China. She had the opportunity to interact with young Chinese students working on their English speaking skills. As part of that interaction, she began to teach beginning photography skills to 2 different groups of students. One class met in a local coffee house. The other group met at a local university after a professor heard about her class and invited her to teach at his school.

Her class members ranged in age from 12 to 40 years old. The class included students, professors, young professionals, and even a young medical student. There she was – a fraidy cat in the midst of an amazing metamorphosis. This fraidy cat was becoming a teacher standing in front of a group of 30 strangers, for whom English was a 2^nd language, doing what she feared most: public speaking.

Courtesy H. Nett

Eventually, she became aware of a the opportunity to join a tour group to North Korea. She joined folks from Uganda, Canada, Australia and other far flung countries who traveled in North Korea for 9 days. One lasting impression of the experience is the memory of how green and lush her surroundings were as they traveled. She was amazed at a performance given by children at a local orphanage. She sampled fish eyeballs and found that her favorite food is fried squid and stingray.

Her memories came at me in rapid fire bursts. It was obvious that she is still processing all she was able to experience in those few short days. I asked Hannah if she would like to visit China or North Korea again. “In a heartbeat,” she replied, “But next on my agenda is Africa.”

Courtesy H. Nett

Despite difficult days of transition when she first arrived in China, despite missing her bed and her family, despite feeling culturally isolated until she found her rhythm in China, she is ready to go again. Not long after returning home, she discovered that her church was sponsoring a trip to Africa. Remember that South Africa was one of the 2 countries she turned down to go to China? Guess what!

This former fraidy cat now plans to accompany her home church to a small town in South Africa where they will work with orphans affected by the Aids crisis as well as with trouble teens. She hopes to put her photography skills to use helping document the trip. That fraidy cat thing? I believe she has laid that dragon to rest.

Courtesy H. Nett

I asked, “What do you know about yourself that you did not know before you went on this journey?”

She replied, “I am stronger than I ever had any idea that I was. And, I am free. I have realized that no matter where I go, the Lord will be with me and give me a heart to be there. Fear does not control me anymore.”

And I say, “Fly fraidy cat, fly. And, Godspeed on your way.” 

  

Isaiah 41: 13 (NIV)

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Courtesy H. Nett

NOTE: Hannah hopes to travel to South Africa in early February if she is able to raise the funds to do so. In addition to holding down a job, she is offering portrait packages for local clients in an effort to raise the $2,300.00 needed for the trip. If you are moved by her story and would like to help fund her trip, her church is accepting contributions on her behalf.

To donate funds please click on this link:

http://www.crccsc.org/giving

So that your donation will be accurately posted, be sure and note:

Hannah Nett – South Africa 

Stay tuned for updates as Hannah continues to blossom in a world free of the old chains of fear!