Friday, May 4, 2012

I'm the Yippie Puppy You Love to Hate :-/

Confessions of a Fraidy Cat
What goes up must come down including adrenaline. It happened about 8 o'clock last night. I'd run all day with my mind running farther and faster until it ran out of steam. I haven't been this exhausted since my first trimester! My body gave up. My mind's throttle is still racing.

Wanna bet a lot of my 2:1 friends are feeling the same? As tired as I am, I can't imagine that some of the sponsors went right from that conference to the next without going home. I don't know how they are upright tonight. We all have to learn to pace ourselves. I'm in the remedial class, I fear.

Even as I've run myself silly, my mind has been anchored in what my goals and dreams are in light of last weekend's information bomb. The fraidy cat has begun to creep in as my adrenaline has waned. It is just as I feared it would be. In fact, I even predicted it when I spoke with my dinner companions, Tabitha, Kendra/Andy, and Stacey on Saturday night.

Courtesy and in Loving Memory of Christina Jones Hooker
My fraidy cat has come calling – the one that tells me I dream too big and reach too far. The one that says my excitement is not contagious but more like that yippie puppy you love to hate. All day long the voice has tried to drown out the energy and enthusiasm provided by new friends and new ideas.

Pssst. Who do you think you are. You are hyper. You talk too much. You don't listen enough. You'll never catch up to those people. Look at their blogs. Look at their online platforms. Amazing. Look at you. You need to tip-toe back to bumpkin-ville where you came from and forget all this fal-de-ral. Frankly, girl, you embarrass yourself. You're an embarrassment. You hear me? You're not a techie. You'll never catch up. Quit while you are ahead!”

Now that I think of it, maybe that's why I ran so hard after I left the conference? I was trying to outrun the cat. Here's what I know. He's a patient one, that one. He is the tortoise to my hare. He knows he can plod along till I run out of steam and that in my weakest, most fatigued moments, the battle will be his. I'll give up without a fight.

Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative
He works on me till I begin to talk for him. Who am I to tell you what to do with your fear, anxiety, depression, and crises of faith? I'm the one arm wrestling with the good God that I'm writing my way back too. Before I know it, that fraidy cat and I are giving me a good going over. My finger twitches over the 'kill switch' that would shut down my Confessions of a Fraidy Cat Facebook page. Shoulda never got on that plane to DC. What was I thinking?

What about you? Have you ever scared yourself to death thinking bigger thoughts, dreaming bigger dreams, and daring to hope for what seems to be the unreachable? Oh, I know you have, or you wouldn't have found your way to my friends and I. So, tonight, let's wage war together. Tonight I chose to banish the cat, and move forward, even if my knees are knocking in fear. What about you?

Courtesy A. Hughes
Let's take the fear-of-failure cat captive together by remembering a few pivotal truths. I choose truth over fear tonight. I might need you to remind me of tonight's courageous choice in the morning. Love you long and strong. Come back soon? Till then, remember these weapons:

Ephesians 2: 10 (Amplified Bible)
For we are God's [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may [c]pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

Ephesians 3:20-21  (Amplified Bible)
Courtesy B. Creasy
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).


  1. Thanks for sharing this! I almost backed out from going to the conference! The underlying them to the conference, however, spoke directly to us! Not to compare ourselves to other blogs and to find joy in our lives! Glad that you were able to come!!!

  2. Nicole, I'm so sorry we didn't get to meet. I had no idea how the conference would impact my life. I went thinking I'd get a lot of nuts/bolts info, which I did. However, I found the spiritual challenge and encouragement as influential as the technical ones! Look forward to getting to know you and sharing in our journey out of fear-landia together!