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| Courtesy and in Loving Memory of Christina Jones Hooker |
You
know it had to happen. I just as good as told you so. One of the
reasons I choked at the idea of this series came to fruition right on
cue. Were you waiting for it?
“Mostly,
I was afraid I'd shoot my mouth off one night to wake up the next
morning and find out my kid had publicly humiliated me for life. In technicolor.”
I
woke up this morning breathing a little easier, feeling pretty good
(but not smug) about what I'd written last night. Maybe there was
even a glimmer of hope that I might get thru unscathed at least till
the weekend? Yea. Uh-huh. Right. I did until just after lunch time.
I
arrived to pick up Son #2 from art class only to catch a glimpse of
the teacher's face. I hasten to add that, for folks who do not have a
similarly situated immediate family member, coping with an Aspie can
be a little daunting. It can be acutely so if the Aspie is a little
on edge because life has been on the edge the last few weeks or so.
You are beginning to see what's coming, aren't you? My technicolor
humiliation.
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| Courtesy M. Horrocks |
My
son had not been running with scissors, but he and a friend had tried
to occupy the same spot at the same time. His friend ended up with a
layer of skin scraped off his elbow. It looked like the granddaddy of
all friction burns only a little deeper. Not that big. No stitches or
butterfly bandage required. Just lots of mea culpa's and worries
about infection until the wound closes over.
My
sweet friend and her son were calm, collected, and conciliatory. Son
#2 was awkward in communicating his ownership of the situation and
failed to satisfy the teacher when he did so. The teacher's drama
background failed to serve her well in concealing what appeared to be
exasperation.
All
I could think was, “This will never end. There is always going to
be something for my courageous Aspie fellas that defines them as
'different'. I should NEVER have written that blog post last night.
Who am I to be writing about parenting or faith or anything else for
that matter.”
*Be
prepared to be humble and to set a humble example for your children.
Be prepared to do so ad nauseum.
I
might not be an expert on much, but I'm in the ball park on that one,
let me tell ya. If you think about it, that principle stems directly
from Phillipians 2: 3 (ESV) – Do
nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more
significant than yourselves. You
can add in a dash of Proverbs 15: 1 (ESV) – A
soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
A
few years ago,a neighbor kid unloaded an Airsoft gun at dogs on the
other side of our fence. Neither of our sons owned one of those
'toys', but I knew the neighbor had been over to play that day. So,
when the dogs' owner came over with a Ziploc bag of the bb
ammunition, the neighbor, whom I had not met before, didn't have to
tell me anything.
I
looked at him and said, “You don't have to say a word. Give us a
few minutes. My son will write a note of apology. My husband will
bring him over to deliver it.” The young man who owned and shot the
gun was NEVER compelled to apologize for his actions. We wanted our
son to understand that if he was at the 'scene of the crime and did
nothing to intervene' it is called 'guilt by association'.
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| Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative |
My
3 testosterone units will tell you, that I abhor car horns. They are
used way too often these days to get your attention so that a
frustrated driver can indict you for your vehicular sins. Many a road
rage accident starts with a horn. My crew will tell you that my
reaction to erratic driving is almost always: “That may be an older
person or a newcomer who is disoriented and needs to get their
bearings. It might be a young mom distracted by a sick, crying child.
More frighteningly, it might be someone under the influence of a drug
or alcohol. Do not blow the horn unless we are in imminent danger.”
In
these examples, I hope to teach my sons what it means to live out the
verses from Phillipians and Proverbs. You only have to read the
paper to realize that less and less attention is given to teaching
our kids about humility or putting the needs and welfare of others
before their own. By contrast, we spend too much time worrying about
the stability of their self-esteem without realizing that in caring
for others, we learn to esteem ourselves in proper proportion.
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| Courtesy Mad Penguin Creative |
Slowly,
slowly we stir the pot of parenthood. Parenting requires sacrificial
time beyond caring for the minimal basic needs and then running
scatteratically from one event to the other. Punt some of the urgent
stuff in favor of the important down time a family needs to allow
deep and true connections. Take that freed up time to teach your
children how their value stems from the Creator who designed them
with a unique purpose in mind. Teach them to say what they mean and
keep their word. Teach them to honor the boundaries and property of
others. Demonstrate grace and humility in the midst of embarrassment
when life hands you moments of technicolor humiliation.
Well,
after today's fiasco, I'm sure you are dying to come back tomorrow to
see what kind of crow I get to eat then, aren't you? ;-) Come on
back, fraidy cat. Bring a friend. It's gonna take a village to get me
thru this, and I'm looking at YOU when I say that!
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| Courtesy B. Creasy |
Missed part of this series? Catch up with these links:
Part ONE
Part TWO
Part THREE
Part FOUR
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